“Bland!” This is the only word I find fitting to describe my life at this very moment. It was not always like this. I simply got weary of my old habits, and came to a conclusion when my ship wrecked on the rocky coast of a siren’s island. For years people have claimed they are evil. But in my eyes, this particular one was an utter beaut, all the way down to her toes. I know sirens do not have toes, but this one was special like Ariel from Little Mermaid, but a little stuffed.
When I first laid my eyes on her, it felt like I was having breakfast under the moon. (Okay, You guys know I am not a neophyte when it comes to creating bizarre phrases or words.) From that very moment it was clear; marked by fate, unquestionable and decided. She was meant for me; a fine specimen I can un-secretively gaze at. So, I did what any man with a pair of balls would have done. I walked up to her, held her in my arms and kissed her alluring lips. As much as it was an unexpected thing for her, she wholehearted accepted me.
I know it sounds like a novel coming to life, well it is. But, trust me when I say this; although I cannot trust myself around a twenty-five thousand word novella. It was maaaa-giiii-cal on a total different echelon. What can I say, I have a pair of big diggy balls. “Hehe, I am a man after all,” Is what I would be saying if that was the actual scenario.
Wait a minute, before you leave, at least hear me out. Hey, I am a passionate imaginor. Conquest of reality; bender of actiality. I have the power to step into an alternative realm. Okay fine, I will simplify it. I am a dreamer. So what? We dreamers are special you know. We are only limited when we stop thinking. This is my only means to treat my wounds. So do not think poorly of me. You are in no position to judge me, not until you try it.
It is pleasing, apart from being delusional and absent-minded most of the times. It mends the heart. Long story short, she shared her nerds with me while we watched a movie, and talked about some stuff. After we played on the acquaintance level a for a few minutes. I found myself being peer pressure into breaking one of the cinema’s many rules. We switched rooms to watch two different movies, and we were never caught. I still wonder how we did not get caught until this very day. That was 5 years ago, maybe more. I guess sneaking around like ninjas do have perks. Ha-ha.
From that very moment I got tied to her, and cannot seem to forget about her. We dated for a few days before she called it off. I guess I was not “hardcore.” But then she accepted me again and then left, and did it one more time and left me a again. For good this time. Ha-ha, I guess I was a sucker for love. You know what is funny. We still talk like we did when we first met, but I keep my feelings locked up in a dark closet.
Here I am once again with an uninhabited mind. Believe me when I say this, it is comparable to suffering from an erectile dysfunction. I am so sorry for the people out there who are suffering from such a bad thing. That is a little too deep; let me rephrase it. It is as bad as having an aching wisdom tooth. Okay, even I know, having a lack of ideas is not that bitter. Not even close. Pause; scratch that part out and reverse all the way to the second sentence. Sorry dysfunctional men, but I have to do this. I am going to stick with my first comparison since they somewhat share a correlation. For all I know, the problem could be me.
Maybe I am not putting in as much effort as I am supposed to. Or not exerting the amount of energy required to scale the writer’s block wall. That might as well be the case, because it is the only explanation I can muster. Before, my mind was like a finished coloring book. Pause! This is a little phrase I came up with, if it has not been invented, yet. If not, I am claiming all the creational points here, if that is an actual word. Wait, is creational a word? ‘Creational: of or relating to creation.’ Ha, it is, I guess I am not the only certifiable person out there. When it comes to making up phrases and words, I am no neophyte. You know what, I might as well collect all the creational points. It is my art! “My mind was like a finished coloring book.” A neologism of kerdel ellick. Now that I have marked my charming phrase. Cherrio! Gosh, I know my humor is bland as a robot’s, but that is fine. As long as you guys get me.
I guess every writer is, or “word creators.” Whatever fancy scientific name people call them. Away, we writers do create some crazy stuff at times. Am I right? Or am I sailing this boat alone here, huh? I guess I am. Every now and then I ask myself, “What am I trying to achieve by writing my life away?” This only occurs when I am seating in front of a blank page for more than five minutes, fighting with myself to write a damn sentence. The thing is, I know why I am doing it – it is because I am aiming to become an author who is going to publish at least, one book! At times, I cannot help but impugn myself at times. I know self-doubt is as deadly as doing some high end drugs. What can you do when it is in your system? Nothing! Maybe I am weak-minded; that can be the case.
Hey guys, I hope you all are having a good day so far. I am not if you are wondering! As much as I was excited for this month, there is a ninety percent chance it might just turn out to be utter shit. We all know it is the month of nanowrimo, and we know the procedures, and the number one rule. “Prepping is key!” Laptop, tablet, papers and pens; whichever equipment or equipments we prefer. We only have one goal, and that is to hit the milestone, which is fifty thousand words. Yeah, FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS in a month. There are some people I like to call, “The monarch of nano.” I do not know how they do it, but they would get fifty thousand words done a week or two weeks before the due date.
I am always overly excited for nanowrimo. An event for people who love writing; it is like diving in a shit ton of candy. Okay, that might not be a good description, but it is somewhat around that corner. All you have to do is defeat headaches and writer’s block, and make it out in one piece. I have tried, but I would always get eradicated by headaches or writer’s block. Yes, even with my plot written down and my motivation quote draping in front of me.
“Write when you don’t want to!” Really, what am I suppose to write? Garbage? I know waiting for inspiration is not something one should do, nor does fighting to write a full on paragraph. Well, it is not impossible, not without getting a messed up migraine.
And here I am gazing intently at a nameless folder. A folder which should have been labeled Nanowrimo plans a long time ago. There goes my attempt this year. Might as well work on my blog, since it is the only way I can release my frustration.
I honestly wish I gain the same demeanor that Markus Zusak has. The fact he tried a few perspective before returning to what he had originally begun with; and rewrote the first part of The Book Thief 150 to 200 times. Wow, that is something I want to do too, but 30 times is already an overwhelming number for me. This is so saddening. I was hyped – I was so drunk on excitement; I got very impatient. Now look at where I am at; I am not even a hundred words in. You know what is funny? I had a truck load of ideas, but they all went on a sudden vacation when they heard Nanowrimo was only a few days away. Gosh! Hopefully I get this blog going.
It has been 135 days since I last posted. Wow, what an outstanding landmark. Four months and thirteen days if my math is correct. This is truly astonishing. It is if you’re from the same realm as I am – the realm where procrastination is praised as our monarch. I’ve wasted 3240 hours doing absolutely nothing. Well, that is not entirely accurate. I read a few pages of a book; probably 7-8 pages, and from there I tossed the book in a corner until I felt like reading. Which did not come knocking at my door until a few days ago. I adore reading so damn much, I can go months reading without socializing with the outside world. To the point where I would turn into a “non-Socializer” if that is actually a word. It would be me, my books, food and water. Perfect appliances for my “hibernation.” Or a great recipe to end my life, like some extroverts would say. Anyway, I am back for good this time all thanks to Jamesclear.com, and I am not saying I am back for saying sake. I am a thousand percent back this time. As much as I like writing, I enjoy good articles too. And Jamesclear makes it rain on me like a man makes it rain on, you know who (with good materials). No, I am not benefiting from saying that it is. Like who would pay me to write about their site? Me? Just typing about it makes me laugh, because I know my writing is very “Tragic.” I am just saying the site is wonderful. There are many good articles that I can’t even close the tab – I love it. I am glad I perched there, and I am not leaving anytime soon. Relax, gosh, I know I am drifting away from the main topic here. But you have to admit, it is healthy to admire good products/things when you come across them. What I am trying to say is, don’t not coalesce with procrastination. It is like that one ex who wishes nothing good ever happens in your life. Yeah, that is it! Procrastination is that one bad ex boyfriend/girlfriend who keeps on wishing bad for you. Screw him/her!
He’s without a doubt, a foolish young man;
One who’s sometimes obstinate, silly, delusional and a little hard to understand.
A young man who desires and loves a girl – One who doesn’t desire, nor love him in return.
A man who continuously displays his love towards her as if it doesn’t hurt;
When in reality, he cries every night, because the girl he loves is being kissed and held by someone else.
I am touched by these words:
Dear my little children.
Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
This speaks to me!
Rectify me if I am wrong, which I am ninety-eight percent of the time. Now that I have publicize my ignorance – yes, at times I can be an ignoramus. What you are about to read is something I have thought about a lot, by a lot, I mean recently, for the pass two days or so. There is nothing called “true love,” or “love at first sight.” Well, to me at least. In my eyes, love is love.
Adding the adjective “True” and the phrase “love at first sight” was created and implanted in our minds to throw us off. I googled the meaning of love – An intense feeling of deep affection; Or a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. What the hell is this? Equality is everything, right? Without it there will always be chaos.
It is like loving your wife or husband more than your own flesh and blood. So what if God loved his son more than he loved us? We would have been the one’s who would have paid the price, not his son.
Love everyone, but choose wisely. You can love many, but can only be bonded to one for life. By bonded, I mean marriage. But in this day and age a lot of people love someone because of their physical appearance, wealth, or how good they are with words and in bed. The word love has lost its value, because of these types of people. They are blinded by amazing physique, wealth and lust.
My little children, let us not love in words, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
1 John 3:18 KJV
Like I typed; correct me if I am wrong.