A Writer’s Battle – All Over The Place

Here I am again, fighting with myself to come up with something tasteful, and I am tired of it. I know words are sharp and cut deep like a shiv, and is the only weapon in our arsenal we do not need a license to carry around. I am on the ropes. The sharpness of my words is dulling. This blog alleviates the disbelief that occupies my mind, and is my last resort to restore my blunt words.
 
Hear me out. I believe people who have, or suffers from bland taste knows how to moderate their creativity. It does not matter if they are below, midway or sitting at the peak echelon. “Once you get bland you never go back!” Shh! This might be an enhanced style of plagiarism, but who cares? I do not. Ha-ha. I am kidding by the way.
 
I can say this with a smile on my face, I am an established member when it comes to the “bland society.” I am proficient at lessening my creativity – let us say I am unique when it comes to the writing field. I can give you a full-fledged plot this instant. It would pique your interest and have you idling until I allow you to hit gas to begin your journey. But just like a coin, I have a second side.
 
It goes like this, “now you love it, now you do not.” Trust me when I say this, it goes exactly like that. It has happened to me many times. Me! The guy who is actually writing the damn stories. It would start off fine, but after a few paragraphs, you would not want to continue the journey anymore. For some reason, I tend to turn an interesting plot into a wonderful “put me down” masterpiece.
 
Sometimes I ponder what I am doing wrong. Perhaps it has something to do with my ranking in the bland society. That could be it. My ranking is too damn high! Do not misjudge me! I love being boring, uninteresting, dreary, unexciting or monotonous; whichever one you prefer. Being like this repels bad vibe and people – the type who cannot see your worth.
 
This is the reason why people like that do not like my kind because we do not entertain them, or their nonsense. We care; we even lend a sympathetic ear when we have to, but we just do not add that special season they are looking for. Anyway, I hope I get this blog running like Forrest Gump. Get it? Come on now guys, this one is easy. If you have not seen Forrest Gump, then you need to. Make it a priority! It is a lovely classical drama, comedy slash love and some other genres, starring Tom Hanks.
 
Gosh, I get distracted fast. Anyway, I found this book I am beyond interested in. Cloud Atlas! Have you heard about it? You must have read it since it was a bestseller, right? If not, then check it out. Cloud Atlas written by David Mitchell. A lot of critics say it is difficult to read and understand. One even went as far as to call it, “A nasty piece of work,” and another called it, “derivative and wordy.”
 
Hopefully their bad review does not hinder me from reading it. There is also a movie, which I am hyped for. But I am the type who would read the book first, then watch the movie. But the movie looks so good, just this once, I am going to allow my craving to subside on me.
Advertisements

Everyday Is A New Adventure – The Dreamer

“Bland!” This is the only word I find fitting to describe my life at this very moment. It was not always like this. I simply got weary of my old habits, and came to a conclusion when my ship wrecked on the rocky coast of a siren’s island. For years people have claimed they are evil. But in my eyes, this particular one was an utter beaut, all the way down to her toes. I know sirens do not have toes, but this one was special like Ariel from Little Mermaid, but a little stuffed.

When I first laid my eyes on her, it felt like I was having breakfast under the moon. (Okay, You guys know I am not a neophyte when it comes to creating bizarre phrases or words.) From that very moment it was clear; marked by fate, unquestionable and decided. She was meant for me; a fine specimen I can un-secretively gaze at. So, I did what any man with a pair of balls would have done. I walked up to her, held her in my arms and kissed her alluring lips. As much as it was an unexpected thing for her, she wholehearted accepted me.

I know it sounds like a novel coming to life, well it is. But, trust me when I say this; although I cannot trust myself around a twenty-five thousand word novella. It was maaaa-giiii-cal on a total different echelon. What can I say, I have a pair of big diggy balls. “Hehe, I am a man after all,” Is what I would be saying if that was the actual scenario.

Wait a minute, before you leave, at least hear me out. Hey, I am a passionate imaginor. Conquest of reality; bender of actiality. I have the power to step into an alternative realm. Okay fine, I will simplify it. I am a dreamer. So what? We dreamers are special you know. We are only limited when we stop thinking. This is my only means to treat my wounds. So do not think poorly of me. You are in no position to judge me, not until you try it.

It is pleasing, apart from being delusional and absent-minded most of the times. It mends the heart. Long story short, she shared her nerds with me while we watched a movie, and talked about some stuff. After we played on the acquaintance level a for a few minutes. I found myself being peer pressure into breaking one of the cinema’s many rules. We switched rooms to watch two different movies, and we were never caught. I still wonder how we did not get caught until this very day. That was 5 years ago, maybe more. I guess sneaking around like ninjas do have perks. Ha-ha.

From that very moment I got tied to her, and cannot seem to forget about her. We dated for a few days before she called it off. I guess I was not “hardcore.” But then she accepted me again and then left, and did it one more time and left me a again. For good this time. Ha-ha, I guess I was a sucker for love. You know what is funny. We still talk like we did when we first met, but I keep my feelings locked up in a dark closet.

Me as a writer – daily struggles

Here I am once again with an uninhabited mind. Believe me when I say this, it is comparable to suffering from an erectile dysfunction. I am so sorry for the people out there who are suffering from such a bad thing. That is a little too deep; let me rephrase it. It is as bad as having an aching wisdom tooth. Okay, even I know, having a lack of ideas is not that bitter. Not even close. Pause; scratch that part out and reverse all the way to the second sentence. Sorry dysfunctional men, but I have to do this. I am going to stick with my first comparison since they somewhat share a correlation. For all I know, the problem could be me.

Maybe I am not putting in as much effort as I am supposed to. Or not exerting the amount of energy required to scale the writer’s block wall. That might as well be the case, because it is the only explanation I can muster. Before, my mind was like a finished coloring book. Pause! This is a little phrase I came up with, if it has not been invented, yet. If not, I am claiming all the creational points here, if that is an actual word. Wait, is creational a word? ‘Creational: of or relating to creation.’ Ha, it is, I guess I am not the only certifiable person out there. When it comes to making up phrases and words, I am no neophyte. You know what, I might as well collect all the creational points. It is my art! “My mind was like a finished coloring book.” A neologism of kerdel ellick. Now that I have marked my charming phrase. Cherrio! Gosh, I know my humor is bland as a robot’s, but that is fine. As long as you guys get me.

I guess every writer is, or “word creators.” Whatever fancy scientific name people call them. Away, we writers do create some crazy stuff at times. Am I right? Or am I sailing this boat alone here, huh? I guess I am. Every now and then I ask myself, “What am I trying to achieve by writing my life away?” This only occurs when I am seating in front of a blank page for more than five minutes, fighting with myself to write a damn sentence. The thing is, I know why I am doing it – it is because I am aiming to become an author who is going to publish at least, one book! At times, I cannot help but impugn myself at times. I know self-doubt is as deadly as doing some high end drugs. What can you do when it is in your system? Nothing! Maybe I am weak-minded; that can be the case.

Nanowrimo

Hey guys, I hope you all are having a good day so far. I am not if you are wondering! As much as I was excited for this month, there is a ninety percent chance it might just turn out to be utter shit. We all know it is the month of nanowrimo, and we know the procedures, and the number one rule. “Prepping is key!” Laptop, tablet, papers and pens; whichever equipment or equipments we prefer. We only have one goal, and that is to hit the milestone, which is fifty thousand words. Yeah, FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS in a month. There are some people I like to call, “The monarch of nano.” I do not know how they do it, but they would get fifty thousand words done a week or two weeks before the due date.

I am always overly excited for nanowrimo. An event for people who love writing; it is like diving in a shit ton of candy. Okay, that might not be a good description, but it is somewhat around that corner. All you have to do is defeat headaches and writer’s block, and make it out in one piece. I have tried, but I would always get eradicated by headaches or writer’s block. Yes, even with my plot written down and my motivation quote draping in front of me.

“Write when you don’t want to!” Really, what am I suppose to write? Garbage? I know waiting for inspiration is not something one should do, nor does fighting to write a full on paragraph. Well, it is not impossible, not without getting a messed up migraine.

And here I am gazing intently at a nameless folder. A folder which should have been labeled Nanowrimo plans a long time ago. There goes my attempt this year. Might as well work on my blog, since it is the only way I can release my frustration.

I honestly wish I gain the same demeanor that Markus Zusak has. The fact he tried a few perspective before returning to what he had originally begun with; and rewrote the first part of The Book Thief 150 to 200 times. Wow, that is something I want to do too, but 30 times is already an overwhelming number for me. This is so saddening. I was hyped – I was so drunk on excitement; I got very impatient. Now look at where I am at; I am not even a hundred words in. You know what is funny? I had a truck load of ideas, but they all went on a sudden vacation when they heard Nanowrimo was only a few days away. Gosh! Hopefully I get this blog going.

I can be a little weird

I never thought I would say this, but I am at my breaking point. I am at a point in my life where I see self-destruction as one of my peacemakers. I know it is not the way to go, but what else can you possibly do when you have tried it all? Writing used to be my favorite peacemaker and slightly is a little.
 
I used to get overly excited when it came to writing. I would be at it all day and all night – I loved it as much as young teens love “educational sites,” if you catch my drift. Then it all changed when I started writing for people, especially this one individual.
 
Now that I think about it, I must have been out of my mind writing 6k-20k words for a mere 15 dollars, sometimes less. That was my regular payment writing rainbow colored stories. At the time, it was the only job available. I am still amazed and sicken by it, honestly.
 
SAMPLE: A man who successfully converted me in a way I once deemed to be repugnant. Honestly, I never thought it would have befell. I can never forget the day I got ambushed by my own words; and went back on my belief that every woman deserved a man who’d hail her with endless pleasure. But after getting intoxicated by Christian, I found myself enjoying what I once thought was objectionable. I took pleasure in getting caressed by him. Another man! One who forced his way into my heart, and I loved every second of it. Now I understand why men fell and found it more satisfying to lay in bed with their…..
 
Yes, I spent my time writing stuff like that, loads of it too. Imagine writing 6k-20k words of pure rainbow colored action, being the other way around. Stuff like that is very damaging on a high degree. I AM WEIRDO!
 
So, if you happen to read something “unique” on my blog, it is because of two reasons:
1. Dealing with depression or letting my weird side out. I write crazy shit when I am dealing with depression, or letting my weird side roam this world. It is the only way I can cope.
2. It is because of number one. Number one is the only reason why number two even exists, and without number two number one is useless. That is practically me and writing!
All I am trying to say is that I am grateful you guys read my stuff. If I was in y’all shoes I would be frightened when it comes to reading this weirdo’s “creative works.”
 
Follow my blog if you want to read more of my weird “creative art.”

I’m back again – Second Big Break

It has been 135 days since I last posted. Wow, what an outstanding landmark. Four months and thirteen days if my math is correct. This is truly astonishing. It is if you’re from the same realm as I am – the realm where procrastination is praised as our monarch. I’ve wasted 3240 hours doing absolutely nothing. Well, that is not entirely accurate. I read a few pages of a book; probably 7-8 pages, and from there I tossed the book in a corner until I felt like reading. Which did not come knocking at my door until a few days ago. I adore reading so damn much, I can go months reading without socializing with the outside world. To the point where I would turn into a “non-Socializer” if that is actually a word. It would be me, my books, food and water. Perfect appliances for my “hibernation.” Or a great recipe to end my life, like some extroverts would say. Anyway, I am back for good this time all thanks to Jamesclear.com, and I am not saying I am back for saying sake. I am a thousand percent back this time. As much as I like writing, I enjoy good articles too. And Jamesclear makes it rain on me like a man makes it rain on, you know who (with good materials). No, I am not benefiting from saying that it is. Like who would pay me to write about their site? Me? Just typing about it makes me laugh, because I know my writing is very “Tragic.” I am just saying the site is wonderful. There are many good articles that I can’t even close the tab – I love it. I am glad I perched there, and I am not leaving anytime soon. Relax, gosh, I know I am drifting away from the main topic here. But you have to admit, it is healthy to admire good products/things when you come across them. What I am trying to say is, don’t not coalesce with procrastination. It is like that one ex who wishes nothing good ever happens in your life. Yeah, that is it! Procrastination is that one bad ex boyfriend/girlfriend who keeps on wishing bad for you. Screw him/her!

Writing myself into the ground

Here I am again, pondering like crazy – I have no idea what to write, or how I am going to begin. At first, writing was easy because my ideas were constant, but now it is a struggle – a nightmare I cannot seem to snap out of. There are days my inspiration is at its peak, and I would have a surge of ideas. But the thing is, when it comes to typing down those ideas, they would vanish before I even touch my keyboard. If I am lucky, I am able to type down a few words, but I would find myself deleting everything because it is not “good enough.” I have a few poems and stories, collecting dust – too much, to the point where it is starting to annoy me. Some I have started but have not completed, and others I have finished but have not polished. In my current condition, giving up on being an author makes a lot of sense. I know, one should not give up on his/her dreams, but there are times you find it impossible to succeed. Maybe my family was right – I was, and still am waiting my time. Perhaps procrastination and writer’s block is my plague.

A man in love

He’s without a doubt, a foolish young man;
One who’s sometimes obstinate, silly, delusional and a little hard to understand.
A young man who desires and loves a girl – One who doesn’t desire, nor love him in return.
A man who continuously displays his love towards her as if it doesn’t hurt;
When in reality, he cries every night, because the girl he loves is being kissed and held by someone else.

One month and six days of procrastination

It has been 36 days since my finger tips have not touched a keyboard. Believe it or, procrastination is such a bore. We all know it is, and I know I am pointing out the obvious, but what the heck. I know, one cannot blame a word for his/her doing. But the thing is, procrastination has and will always eradicate my ideas. Playing the procrastination card, is like playing a “Get out of jail free” monopoly card. I feel contented, and well justified having procrastination to blame, when it comes to doing something that does not get completed or started. Having a pretended reason helps at times, but we all know it is complete rubbish. The thing is, I find myself relaxing more than I have to. Procrastination has become my well-known executioner. It manages to dwindle my creativity drastically, to the point where I cannot even write a decent sentence. When it comes to my life. I am my own executive; I deeply believe, and procrastination should not have or hold a position in my life AT ALL. YES, it should not! But there are days I wake up in the morning, and instantly plummet into its arms. It makes me feel so comfortable like a baby in his/her mother’s arms. That I find it nearly impossible to emancipate myself.
What you have read is my EXTREME attempt at escaping from its grasp.

Typing my thoughts

I am touched by these words:

Dear my little children.

Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

This speaks to me!

Rectify me if I am wrong, which I am ninety-eight percent of the time. Now that I have publicize my ignorance – yes, at times I can be an ignoramus. What you are about to read is something I have thought about a lot, by a lot, I mean recently, for the pass two days or so. There is nothing called “true love,” or “love at first sight.” Well, to me at least. In my eyes, love is love.

Adding the adjective “True” and the phrase “love at first sight” was created and implanted in our minds to throw us off. I googled the meaning of love – An intense feeling of deep affection; Or a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. What the hell is this? Equality is everything, right? Without it there will always be chaos.

It is like loving your wife or husband more than your own flesh and blood. So what if God loved his son more than he loved us? We would have been the one’s who would have paid the price, not his son.

Love everyone, but choose wisely. You can love many, but can only be bonded to one for life. By bonded, I mean marriage. But in this day and age a lot of people love someone because of their physical appearance, wealth, or how good they are with words and in bed. The word love has lost its value, because of these types of people. They are blinded by amazing physique, wealth and lust.

My little children, let us not love in words, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

1 John 3:18 KJV

Like I typed; correct me if I am wrong.